• Part 1 •

Ahhh oh, my god
Oh, my god
They shot him in the motherfucking head

I am tall and I am thin
Of an enviable height
And I've been known to be quite handsome
From a certain angle and a certain light

Well I entered into O'Malley's
Said, "O'Malley, I have a thirst"
O'Malley, he looked right through me
Said, "Some other fellow first"

I knocked on the bar and pointed
To a bottle on the shelf
Well, O'Malley walked past and scratched his ass
And I twitched and crossed myself

My hand decided that it had enough
And for a moment it slipped from view
When it returned, my hand had learned
A brand new trick or two

Well the thunder from my big black gun
Made all the glasses jangle
When I shot him, I was so handsome
It was the light, man, it was the angle

"Neighbours!" I cried, "Friends!" I screamed
I banged my fist upon the bar
I just shot old O'Malley
And my dick felt long and hard

I am the man who waits for no-one
My aim is straight and true
And I'm marked by darkness and by blood
So don't nobody move!

Well, you know those fish with the swollen lips
That clean the ocean floor
When I looked at poor O'Malley's wife
That's exactly what I saw

I jammed the barrel under her chin
And her eyes bulged just like those nasty little fish
Her head, it landed in the sink
With all the dirty dishes

And her dirty little daughter Siobhan
Who we all had a little fun with
It seemed a bit unfair that she had to be there
So I thought I'd get her over and done with

I lept upon her, punching
She stared on in disbelief
Looking like the Madonna on the church-house wall
Painted in whale's blood and banana leaf

Left hook, right hook, left hook, right
She spun round and round
I brought a mighty punch up from the floor
And I lifted her off the ground

Her head caved in like a melon
And my fists were gloved in gore
And I shot Counselor Caffrey in the back of the head
As he made a run for the door

Oh, my god
Oh, my god
He just shot him in the motherfucking head

• Part 2 •

Oh, my god
Oh yeah, oh yeah
Oh yeah, I said oh yeah

"I have no free will," I sang
As I flew about the murder
Mrs. Richard Holmes, she screamed
Well, you really should have heard her

I sang and I laughed, I howled and I wept
I panted and I squealed
I blew a hole in Mrs. Richard Holmes
Who used her husband as a shield

He screamed, "You are an evil man"
And I paused a while to wonder
If I have no free will then how can I
Be morally culpable, I wonder?

I shot Richard Holmes in the stomach
I said, "It felt good to take your life"
I'm not sure, but I think he thanked me
As he lay down next to his wife

"It's nice to be nice," I replied to him
And he gave a little cough
"Yeah, it's nice to be nice" and I neatly aimed
And blew his head completely off

I've lived in this town for thirty years
And to no one I am a stranger
And I put new bullets in my gun
Chamber upon chamber

When I turned my gun on the bird-like Mr. Brooks
I thought of Saint Francis and his sparrows
And as I shot down the youthful Richardson
It was Sebastian I thought of and his arrows

Oooh mmmm ohhhh
Oh my god, oh my god
He shot him in the fucking head

I said, "I want to introduce myself
And I'm glad that all you came"
And I lept upon the bar
And I shouted out my name

Well, Jerry Bellows, he hugged his stool
Closed his eyes and shrugged and laughed
And with an ashtray as big as a really bloody big brick
I split his skull in half

"This hurts me more than it hurts you," I said
And I sat on the bar and cried
And for a strange moment, no one moved or spoke
They all sat like that for a while

"It's nice to be nice," I said again
Well it is, and that's a fact
I smiled at Henry Davenport
I think Henry Davenport smiled back

Well, from the position I was sitting
The strangest thing I ever saw
The bullet entered through the top of Henry's chest
And blew his bowels out on the floor

Well I floated down the counter
Showing no remorse
I shot a hole in Kathleen Carpenter
Recently divorced

The remorse I felt, the remorse I had
Clung to everything
From the raven's hair upon my head
To the feathers on my wings

"Life is grand," I shouted
"But death is just the best!"
And I glided through the bodies
And killed the fat man Vincent West

Who sat quietly in his chair
A grown man become a child
And I raised the gun up to his head
Executioner-style

He made no attempt to resist
So fat and dull and lazy
"Did you know I live in your street?" I cried
And he looked at me like I was crazy

"Oh," he said, "I had no idea"
He grew as quiet as a mouse
And the roar of the pistol when it went off
Near blew that roof right off the house

Ohhhhh uh huh ugh
Oh my god, oh my god
He shot him in the fucking head

• Part 3 •

Well, I caught my eye in the mirror
And gave it a long and loving inspection
"There stands some kind of man," I roared
And there did, in the reflection

My hair combed back like a raven's wing
My muscles hard and tight
And curling from the business end of my gun
Was a query-mark of cordite

Well I spun to the left and I spun to the right
And I spun to the left again
"Well, fear me! Fear me! Fear me!"
No one did cause they were dead
Huh, oh, my god

And then there came the police sirens wailing
And a bullhorn squelched and blared
"Drop your weapons and come out
With your hands in the air!"

Well, I checked the chamber of my gun
Saw one final bullet left
And my hand looked almost human
As I raised it to my head

"Drop your weapons and come out!
Keep your hands above your head!"
I took one long hard think about dying
And did exactly what they said

There must have been fifty cops out there
In a circle around O'Malley's Bar
"Don't shoot," I cried, "I'm a man unarmed!"
So they put me in the car

And they sped me away from that terrible scene
And I glanced out of the window
Saw O'Malley's Bar, saw the cops and the cars
And I started counting on my fingers

One, two, three, four
Oh my god
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
O'Malley's Bar
Oh my god